Ashes to ashes
I have decided that my remains will be cremated after I pass away. I signed my name on the dotted line to donate my organs to science, or to a cooler. Whichever, I want my delicacies to keep thriving and hopefully they’ll one day be an essential part of an elected Eeyou/Eenou premier of Quebec or the Editor-in-chief at Vanity Fair magazine!
I recently went on a trip to the Bahamas and nestled my head on the magnificent sandy beaches of Nassau. But nothing could prepare me for Exuma (only about an hour-and-a-half ride on a speed boat from Oprah’s gated Paradise Island). Laura, Reggie and I couldn’t believe how wonderful and majestic it is. If you like crystal-clear water you will love Exuma. Gwyneth Paltrow and her “conscious uncoupling” beau were next to “our” island. I tried calling them but they had gone sailing that afternoon. I am guessing that they couldn’t reach me either?
If you like privacy and people who mind their own business, Exuma is your answer. No, I wasn’t paid to write this. But the reason I’ve opted for cremation is that I want a portion of myself to be scattered at Exuma. Also, a teaspoon at Gobanji, a tablespoon at Champion Lake, and secretly, I want to be liberally sprinkled throughout Holt Renfrew. I’m not done with the list. I still plan to live many more years and add places. But first, let me take a #selfie.
I am writing to you at an altitude of 19,000 feet aboard a plane operated by our beloved Air Creebec. Sitting in front of me is an Anishnabe celebrity, CBC journalist Duncan McCue. I befriended him on Facebook when he visited Chisasibi as a motivational speaker at the Roundtable. We’re BFFs now, though Duncan has yet to comment on any of my selfies.
If you didn’t know, he lived in Chisasibi for many years. George and Nellie Pachanos adopted him. He is an honourary Eeyou. So much that he has a scar from Nellie’s April. She apparently bit him.
Duncan has an impressive résumé: he is lawyer by training but journalism is his passion. He represents well as an Aboriginal journalist on CBC, probably because he follows me on Twitter! His story about Aboriginal hockey star Chris Simon made me cry. Any grown man crying on TV? I go into the ugly cry.
It’s been two weeks now since we’ve been Liberal. The Montreal Gazette seems to have shifted to other stories. Deep down, I do miss Madame Marois. I know you do too. She may have rubbed you the wrong way but she sure did wake people up.
Pauline is one radical woman. I still remember her stern handshake a few years back and that’s when I knew this was a woman on a mission. Her star has dimmed but has her influence on young Quebec minds also diminished? I’m not so sure, because history repeats. Nothing under the sun is new. Even news.
Premier Philippe Couillard has put Saint-Félicien on the map! I hope now the town zoo will be a hot destination for other parties to attend. It’s a cute zoo. Right Judy?
Exuma. Awww. If teleportation were a reality, I’d be there right now. Until then, I’ll add places to my bucket list and to the list of where I’d like to be posthumously sprinkled. Mind you, it’s goose break season, so I’ll definitely keep my Bahamas tan. Aho!