The holiday hold-up

There’s something I’ve wanted to get off my chest for a while now. I wonder if I’m the only one who thinks there is a conspiracy to empty our bank accounts in a never-ending cycle. Do all these corporate giants sit around discussing what new holiday they can devise to make us spend more of our hard-earned dollars?

Let’s start with Valentine’s Day. This day, I always thought, was for our other half. But now I see people also buying Valentine’s gifts and flowers for their daughters, mothers, grandmothers and so on. Imagine how much those chocolates, flowers, teddy bears add up to. Maybe you have a couple of birthdays after this when you buy gifts, a cake, decorations and sometimes even a place to rent for a party.

In April, we buy tons of chocolate for the “Easter Bunny” that seems to have convinced our children that it can magically produce all these eggs made of chocolate! I’m telling you, whoever made up this holiday was smoking something wacky.

Thanksgiving has us travelling long distances just so we can put on an extra five pounds gorging on the poor turkeys that are sacrificed for our gluttonous pleasures.

Halloween is another crazy time. If your children are like mine, there is always a specific costume that is as “must-have” this year. This searching can get very pricey if you don’t find it online right away.

Insert more birthdays.

By this time, the Christmas spending frenzy has started, with multiple shopping trips, hotel accommodations, and visits to Santa to “update” the wish lists. Black Friday and Boxing Day make us lose our minds among frenzied mobs going crazy over all of these supposed “savings.”

Mother’s Day and Father’s Day – I’m not going to say anything about these days. These are absolute musts for all of us and worth every dollar and minute spent on them.

We should look at our calendar to see how many of our days are filled with worrying about what gift to get and where to get it. This is not to mention the weddings, anniversary celebrations and family trips. Throw all these together and you’re barely surviving. The only people enjoying these “holidays” are the suppliers.

I’m 75% certain there is a secret society filled with retailers, bakers and florists – oh, and we can’t forget the sentimental card companies. Forget the Illuminati, these guys are the real deal! They own us, they may as well have direct access to our bank accounts.

“Hello sir! I’ve gone ahead and withdrawn $200 for your Valentine’s purchases; everything has been prepared for you. Oh yes, and don’t forget, you’ll be needing more flowers for your wife’s birthday in three weeks, we’ll be arranging the most beautifully expensive bouquet for you.” A slight exaggeration, but it’s possible in the near future.

I’ve joked before that, next year, we’re going to rotate these days to every other year. Halloween and Christmas one year and Thanksgiving with Valentine’s the next. And then skip one of the kids’ birthdays (just kidding!).

It is fun to celebrate special days with family and friends. I’m from a big family and I value