Hallowed weather
Halloween is on the tip of everyone’s tongue as the scary, hairy, beautiful, ridiculous and just plain crazy costumes are dug out of the closet. It’s a bit like the Mardi Gras of the north, with kids in cute costumes running from doorway to doorway and parents close by in their SUVs comfortable in the warmth of their heated cabin. Around this time of the year, Old Man Winter wakes up and starts shaking off some snowflakes and spreading cold weather everywhere.
Brrrr… the kid in the Superman outfit seems impervious to anything Mother Nature dishes out, while no one in clown outfits are allowed to venture anywhere near gas stations and restaurants. Some bright one has a scary outfit – Donald Trump with a big sign loudly stating “I WON!” Not too many zombies this year as scary seems to be leaning more to old-fashioned vampires and ghouls.
Hopefully, there won’t be too much to be afraid of weather-wise next month. November, the most travelled month of the year, sees a doubling in flight or travel cancellations. Make sure that those winter tires are on, as the spinaroo and doughnuts in the snow are apt to happen to those who don’t know how to drive in northern climes. As far as flying, if your heading north, pack an extra set of long johns, and make sure your phone is fully charged and filled with time-passing games, as your flight is guaranteed to be cancelled at least twice in November. That is, if you are a frequent traveller who likes missing important meetings and being stranded nowhere near cellphone service – in other words, with no way of delivering your excuse to the chairperson.
On the bright side, if you happen to wander off somewhere after your crash on the James Bay Highway, at least you have your tracks in the snow to follow back to safety. Unless, you happen to be incredibly dumb like those actors in silly movies who always walk away from their vehicle mere metres away from the highway. Sometimes, these silly people actually thrash about in thick bush for hundreds of miles trying to follow the North Star only to end up on the other side of the road weeks later. Don’t ask me but I’m sure it has happened to someone.
Around this time of the year, the annual Moose Madness has quieted down and the only thing left to do is to cook and eat your beast. Further north, the once mighty herds of caribou will start their winter migration to the comfort of the timbered woods of interior Quebec. The sports hunter is now not part of the scene, as this annual event spurred a lot of anxiety amongst Cree trappers and hunters from many scary near misses involving flying bullets. Hopefully, this type of sports hunting will end as Mother Nature had intended that big game be hunted only for consumption.
Thankfully, the world has learned from the demise of the western bison. The new political stance is to at least pay lip service to protecting the environment. Nevertheless, profits seem to outweigh common sense and the development of the North continues – much to the chagrin of the traditionalist, who prefers the land be left alone to the inhabitants of the forests and taiga. This story will continue and the Elders of today, who happen to be just a little older than me, have some traditional stories left to tell the next generation. Alas, my memories only go back to the 1960s. Still, I have retained the stories of my parents and grandparents and from anyone else with stories passed on to them that stretch back centuries.
Today, the laughter of children, the scream of an excited trick-or-treater, the candies and games are what keeps our memories happy for the time being. I just want to scare the heck out of kids so that they have a memory of going to my darkened doorway for a freebie.
Boooohaaaahaahahahaaa!