Relationships explained
She asks, “Honey, how do you think we should do this?”
Don’t answer, you don’t need to. You could have the perfect answer but she’s already decided what you are both going to do, how you are going to do it, when, where and what YOU are going to do. Marriage, bound together by love (still is of course), is no longer ruled by it.
When we were young, it was an exciting time being together, talking all night, sharing our dreams. Holding each other all night.
Add children.
Now the rules have changed, drastically.
How the better half (the woman) changes her whole life right away to make the baby’s life as comfortable and loving as possible, seems to take us men just a little longer. Everything goes through our minds.
Do I have to trade in my car for a van? Don’t do this, never do this! The minivan is for the wife when you can finally afford that second car. Stick to the car or the tough-looking pickup that’s still suitable for the small family. Guys, if your buddy is driving a minivan and has only one child, you are free to laugh at him.
Will I still be able to go to the tournaments with the guys? Be very careful with this one, but be quick. You “ask” or tell her you’re going and she gives you the “go ahead” answer. Say nothing. Don’t pursue it. That “go ahead” is not her real answer because you SHOULD HAVE KNOWN what it really meant. That’s why I say continue on with your day. When the time comes to go AND if the baby isn’t sick, then you can go, because she said, “Go ahead.” You can deal with the “you should have known” talk when you get back. But behave! If you don’t? That’s your last ever “free time” with the boys.
Here are some pointers to consider. Clean the house, do the dishes, do the laundry (if she lets you, because those machines are impossible to figure out), change the diapers, cook dinner, mow the lawn, paint the room, sweep the floor, make the beds, fix those holes, fix those doors (don’t use hockey tape, she won’t be impressed – I don’t know why, it was ingenious). All of these chores will be mentally noted and could be banked for future outings.
I can’t give advice to the women reading this because I’m just scared of them and I already know they won’t listen anyways.
Being a family takes work on both sides: Making changes in your lives, sacrificing some of life’s pleasures (sports) for the enjoyment of your children’s activities. The rewards come from seeing your little ones’ smiles and joy. The thank-yous, hugs, tears, bandaging of small cuts – these are some of the most gratifying moments in a parent’s life.
We should never forget the ever-important date nights with your other halves. Ladies, it’s the 21st century! Feel free to plan (and pay for) these too. A romantic supper at a restaurant, cooking for the spouse, evening walks or just talking and sharing your thoughts – all are necessary to a healthy marriage.
We can still go to the tournaments, but we’re spectators. Now, we’re taking our little ones to do their things, be it dancing, figure skating, track, football, karate, broomball, basketball or hockey. Our enjoyment has been moved to seeing the little ones chase and realize their dreams.
It took me a while to accept this change, but making the children and their development a top priority is now one of life’s greatest joys.